IF is all about being patient. Being patient in the global sense as is in the "it will happen to you someday." Being patient in the "oh well not this month but maybe next month." Being patient in the "I hope that my follicles grow some today and tomorrow."
I didn't sign up for this journey with an excess of patience. Furthermore, I feel like this has tested my patience and made me more impatient for other things in my life. I can't have a baby so I want THINGS THAT I WANT (new puppy; new care; new job) NOW. I can't have those thing either, however, because all I can want/strive for/afford is this.
I went out for drinks tonight with a friend and an interesting thing happened. We were talking to a guy in his mid 40s-early 50s. He asked me how long I had been married and I said "two years." He then said "oh you are close" And I said "to what?" He said "to having kids." I said, "maybe we won't have kids, who knows" He dropped the subject, but brought it back up an hour later with a vengeance. He asked me flat out - "are you trying for kids" The lady in me wanted to say "oh yes of course" and leave it at that. I didn't say that though. I told this perfect stranger "yes we have been trying for over a year and we are currently considering ivf and I am using injects on a daily basis." He looked slightly horrified, but shut the fuck up about it.
So, like Bill Maher, I'm going to have new rules. NEW RULE: If you say something to me about not having kids twice in one conversation, I am going to make you feel like shit by telling you how infertile I am. NEW RULE: If you try to make me feel guilty, weird, out of place for not having children, I will make you feel like a total ass. You've all been warned.
I LIKE it!
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