Last Day at Work

If you've been following my blog, you might have picked up on some negative feelings I have had about my job.  For over 2 years, I worked to make it work at a firm that didn't want to make things work with me.  I'm not the only one who has had this experience here, but it really hurt to fail at something.  In my previous law firm, I received accolades and constant praise and was shocked to find myself unliked and criticized on a consistent basis.   I searched high and low for the best opportunity to leave...but didn't find it.  Then, one day, when I was feeling really low I got an email from a recruiter, telling me about a great position at New Firm.

New Firm is one of the best firms in town.  A year ago, I would have told you were crazy if you told me I'd get a spot at New Firm.  I had the easiest and smoothest interview schedule and landed a spot.  I start on Monday.

My job struggles went hand in hand with my infertility.  I always told myself that once one thing got better, I'd be able to make it.  The feeling of failure leaked over to both sides, especially during the dark time that I was on Clomid.  At many points, I was willing to throw in the towel at work but didn't because I knew I needed my insurance for fertility treatments.

All that ends today.

I'm nervous about the prospect of starting a new job and doing IVF in the same month.  I don't think that anybody would say that was a "smart" idea.  But I truly believe that now this huge monkey is off my back, I am ready to tackle this challenge.  I also feel like hating my professional life was making me an imperfect vessle for my child. 

I'm nervous about failing at New Firm.   Over the next two weeks, I hope to get somewhat settled there and show enough of my face that people won't wonder where I am when I am at the doctor's office.

I survived, I found my way out and I'm excited for the change.