Sorry if this post is a little meandering and hard to follow. Today was a really rough and long day. However, it was in so many ways better than yesterday. Today we hit the reset button. Today I did what I needed to do to save myself weeks of waiting for something painful to come. Today I received love and support from my family and friends, even though I really didn't feel like talking to anybody. I am going to bed tonight feeling loved and cared for. I think I will even make some new connections and friends out of this. I feel like I have joined a secret sorority of sisters, almost all of whom who have children. Thank you to all of you who offered support, thoughts and prayers. Please know that I felt every single one of them.
Today was a true test of my job as well and let me tell you, I work at a classy joint. I ended up telling the big boss because I'm working on a case with him. He told me to take all the time I need and that he'd cover my cases for me. I don't think I want to take him up on the offer because working and fighting for my clients feels really good right now. That being said, I'm not going to work tomorrow.
I don't know what I will do tomorrow, but I know that eventually night will fall and there will come a new day and I will be one step closer to holding my baby in my arms.
This is a beautiful post. Not because of the topic, for sure, but because you are feeling loved and cared for. It's beautiful because you are able to look ahead and know that there will be a bright future. I love your thoughts about it being a secret sorority of sisters. That's exactly what it feels like!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your boss is so supportive. You deserve to take all the time you need right now. Take it easy. We've both been through the wringer this week. We deserve to feel a little sorry for ourselves and loved by others. Hugs my friend.
You are such a strong woman. And one day you will make an incredible mommy. Don't give up hope. Its because of you that women like us get through each day of infertility. You were there for me and I will be there for you :) Sending lots of hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteI'm a frist time visitor here. I'm so sorry for your loss, I've been there several times myself and I know how painful it is. I'm glad at least to hear you have good support around you. Don't worry about tomorrow for now, just take things one day at a time and let those around you take care of you.
ReplyDeleteThinking about you and sending prayers your way. And you are right - even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.
ReplyDeleteContinuing to think about you and your husband through this difficult time. It's great that you have such supportive friends, family and co-workers so you are not going through this alone. Just know you have a lot of people, even those you don't know personally, thinking about you. ((Hugs))
ReplyDelete(recent new follower) who is so so sorry for your loss... after my d&c I painted, for 3 days - anything I could get my hands on: our old bed frame (which I dismantled myself), our guestbedroom, a book shelf... and made multiple supply-store trips when I ran out of white primer. Busy hands allowed for a free mind, sometimes good and sometimes bad... Good for you, for looking to the future and being able to see a possible rainbow after the storm...
ReplyDeleteAnother first time visitor here, I am so sorry for your loss. Your attitude is amazing, and yes, you are one step closer to having your baby in your arms.
ReplyDeleteI too miscarried after my first IVF cycle, we heard the heartbeat and then during the next visit, it was gone. I can relate to your feelings, it is such a hard thing to endure after so long a wait. For what its worth, I finally did bring home my baby, it was a long road but worth every difficult step.
Hugs & Strength to you xoxo