If somebody were to ask me how I was doing today, I would say "pretty good."
It wouldn't be a lie.
I feel like I'm on the other side of this. The stronger, capable of moving on and dealing with this side. That is what I'm focusing on - being strong.
I remember back to my running/training days. It was always so much easier to get through the run if I was running with somebody who was struggling. I would be strong for that person and forget about the pain in my legs.
I am going to be strong for myself.
I'm starting to really love acupuncture. I've been 3 times and feel amazing each night.
I'm struggling with the transfer date. I have training on the same day that the FET is scheduled for. I really need the training, but I really need the baby. I really wish they could get me in. Feel free to give me advice if I should move the transfer or not.
I totally forgot to mention the news I got last week. We found out the "why," as much there can be a "why" The baby had Trisomy 14, which is a generally fatal condition. I feel better, even though it makes me feel guilty to feel better.
Please don't feel guilty. You wouldn't want your baby to suffer through that condition. I'm so glad you're feeling better. I wish we could run together...it'd be so much easier for both of us.:)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jessah! Don't feel guilty. I know I also felt so much better knowing the reason, and knowing that it wasn't anything that I could have done different. I felt better k owing it wasn't my fault and it wasn't my body being unable to carry the pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteYou ARE strong Andy! You have also been a great support to me and I really appreciate that. Good luck moving forward with your transfer. If you are able to move it forward, I say go for it. Most of all, just make sure whenever it is, you will be okay with it.
Although I understand the emotions that go with that, you don't have anything to feel guilty about. Having answers is a big help in the grieving process, I think, and so it's perfectly natural to feel a sense of relief and some 'closure' when you're offered that.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should feel guilty. I think you're relief is a motherly instinct. You wouldn't want to see your child suffer. You love your child. I'm sorry and glad to hear you feel like you're on the other side.
ReplyDeleteAndy...I've been thinking about you a ton lately. Wondering how you're doing? Whether you are moving forward with another cycle? I'd love to hear from you whether via a blog post or email. DreamingofDimples@gmail.com. Hope you're well!
ReplyDeleteHi, just wanted to check in on you and see how you are doing :)
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