So today is CD 7 of my first cycle of injects.  I've done 4 days of 150 mg of Follistim.  I went in for my first u/s and b/w since taking injects.  I had 3 follies that they measured - all were around 10 mm.  Then they tested my estrogen levels.  My number was 534 - which apparently is higher than what my doctor thought it would be.  I'm supposed to do one more dose of the 150 mg tonight and then a lower dose on Saturday night (118).  I go in for monitoring and b/w on Sunday.

I have no idea if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  I'll know more on Sunday. 

Stimming it Up!

So I went today for my CD3 ultrasound.  I saw my favorite lady there, Heidi.  She was all excited about me going on injects this cycle and totally talked me into it.  After some finagaling with the insurance company I walked away with two cycles worth of Follistim for $200.  Chad just stuck me and is really enjoying the pen.  He calls it my diabeetus pen.  I realize this is horrible and we will rot in hell.  :)

Anyways....I go back to the doctor on Friday.  Apparently with these meds things move FAST.  I'm going to have to go to the doctor this weekend too - when my dad and sherrie are here.  That will be weird.

Fourth Time's the Charm?

Here we go onto Cycle 4.  I was spotting all day long and then at 10:30 my period came on for real.  Today I am really crampy and so glad that I don't have to be at work today.  Crinone - you just know how to make a girl's life special don't you?  So so so glad I don't have to take you anymore!

Anyway, I'm supposed to just "show up" at the doctor tomorrow morning for my baseline ultrasound.  I am praying and keeping everything crossed that there are no cysts or other problems that would keep us from trying this next cycle.  It's amazing how many times in month I find myself praying for a certain result.  Here's to no cysts!

IUI#1 = BFN

The title just about sums it up.  I won't know more until I start my period.  Hopefully that happens tomorrow or Friday.

No News is Good News

So it's Monday - 2 more days until my blood test.  Today I spent the day document reviewing which means my mind had a lot of time to wander.  At several points throughout the day I contemplated whether I could be pregnant.  I had a really weird and sharp pain that I've never felt before in my life.  So I think I'm either knocked up or something is wrong with me.  I hope its the former.


Here are my "pregnancy" symptoms:  big boobs, cramping, thirsty, weird ovary pain, sore throat on Saturday, emotional basketcase (this is really my normal state).  I also felt really tired and unmotivated in yoga class.


I'm consumed by the idea of just taking a pee test, thus obviating the need for the dramatic blood test...the missing work....the blood poke...the sad call from my NP.  The only reason I'll do it is to make 100% sure that I can start drinking on Wednesday once I know it's negative.

Mothers Day - A Perfect Time to Start

I spend a lot of my time on a website created for women who are pregnant or have young children called "The Bump."  It's kind of funny how much time I spend there connecting with other women who are having issues getting pregnant too - all while looking at a woman with a big fricking pregnancy bump.  I recently graduated from the TTC (Trying to Conceive) board to the Trouble Trying to Conceive (TTTC). One of the best words of wisdom from my fellow TTTC'ers was to start a blog.  My sisters have been on me to start a journal for the longest time too.  So here it is.  My official TTTC blog - started on Mother's Day - how perfect is that.

I don't need to blog because I don't have people to talk about this with.  On the contrary, I have some really awesome people who I can share most of the intimate details with.   I do think I need a place to put it all down on paper though.  Maybe a year from now this will all be so very interesting to read.

It's Sunday and on Wednesday I get a blood test for my first Intra Uterine Insemination ("IUI").  Basically, my nurse practioner shoved a catheter up my vagina, past my cervix and into my uterus and shot my husband's sperm up there.  Good quality sperm I might add too.  This is of course after a 7 day round of 100 mgs of Clomid and a shot of HCG.  This is my third medicated cycle and I'm so over it.  Now I'm shoving progesterone gel inside of me every morning.  Does this sound like whining?  It is.  This part sucks.

The worst part about today is that I don't feel pregnant at all.  Yesterday I had a weird sore throat and I was convinced that maybe, just maybe, it was a pregnancy symptom.  Every time I feel anything I tell myself "someday you will look back on this and think 'that's how I knew I was pregnant.'"  I don't know if that day will ever come.  It's torture.  But today, my boobs don't hurt, my sore throat went away and all I am feeling is dread at the thought of getting the phone call on Wednesday and hearing that I'm not pregnant (I bet my NP will be really nice and optimistic) and then doing yet another month of stupid Clomid.

I hate everything about clomid.  I remember how excited I was when I started taking it.  Yes!  This will work!  Now all it means to me is the chance to have horrible mood swings, headaches and hot flashes, not to mention NO control over my emotions.  Clomid sucks - no doubt about it.

Anyway, there isn't anything to do until Wednesday.  I'm not going to take an at home test like I did last month.  I feel like I put my body through a new hurdle this month and I deserve a freaking blood test.  For now, I will just wait and watch Mad Men and try to make it through another day at a job that I absolutely hate.

Oh and blog.